Internet "Dating" Whilst DAU

You are DAU, drunk as usual, alone at home. Too drunk to even find, let alone drive to a local pub for barflies, you know, like the song, Third Rate Romance.

Aha!!!, you think, I will put some profiles on Internet dating sites. Lots of folks do, one or two find love, several find lust. Most keep drinking alone at home after some very long and ultimately useless communications.

Anyway, you google internet dating sites. There are 4,600,000 hits. Hmm. That is a lot of forms to fill out.

You check out the top hits. YIKES. Some want serious cash. Some have tests.

These tests take a long time. More booze is needed.

Now none of these sites ever came through for me. [ A side note: I failed the test at eHarmony. I wasn't good enough for their clientèle I suppose. ] I am older, DAU, poor and have depression. Maybe that didn't help.

I never lied on these tests. I mean really. You lie, the other lies and who are you writing to, some pimply teen? Some ancient crone with no teeth and rancid breath? A chimp with a laptop?

Are these people in your own country even? Are they the sex you are shooting for? Are they in jail? Maybe they belong to one the thousands of scam groups from Russia, Nigeria etc.?

Maybe you spring for one of the top 4 listed at my favorite consumer site:
http://www.consumersearch.com/ . Just type in online dating , then Full Report. Plenty of well considered choices.

BTW, I REALLY like http://www.consumersearch.com .

After a few more drinks, a Camel you tore the filter from and a good pee, you fill in the forms on one or two if you have fund$. If not, on the left are some free sites to consider.

LOTS of questions. You are DAU. It MIGHT be best to complete the forms when you are less drunk OR just have another shot of Early Times.

After you fill the forms in, or is it out?, you can search for your long awaited companion. GL with that. I had none of course.

Next, you might be able to chat with members who are online. This is a nightmare, DAU or anytime but you can try. Let me know how this works.

Do take some time with all the form, especially the headline. Arcane references to unknown poets, rock bands and the like might not work.

Probably its best to not mention your "bits" just yet.

Er, this is as far as I ever got. A few notes to and from me led no where. Some do find a companion. Most, I think, are just spinning their wheels but one never can tell, and you are DAU.

Do be careful. Practice Safe Internetting [ always have your firewall and virus scanner up to date ] , wear condoms when needed AND dental dams.

Also, seriously ponder this. If you find a companion or more and take to webcamming, au natural, you could find yourself on YouTube or worse.

Overall, and for the time and money spent, you might have done better with barflies.

Take a cab though.